That Awkward Moment When
by merlinandfreyaFTW
Summary: A collection of all-dialogue, all the time 'that awkward moment' fics. E.g:That awkward moment when your magic hating best friend finds out you're a warlock...IN PROGRESS.
1. Chapter 1

**That awkward moment when your magic hating best friend finds out you're a warlock.**

"Arthur?"

"Quiet Merlin, I'm trying to think of a Facebook status."

"But Arthur, I have something really important to tell-"

"Hmmm, how about a 'yo mamma' joke?"

"Yes Arthur, that sounds fine, now if you'd just listen for a second-"

"Or what about one of those 'that awkward moment' things?"

"Look, you dollop head, this is serious!"

"Okay, okay, I'm all ears. What?"

"I have magic. Now listen, I know you hate it, but hear me out-"

"That's it!"

"Huh?"

"That…awkward…moment….when…your…magic…hating…best…friend…finds…out…you're…a…warlock. There, done typing. Thanks Merlin!"…

"Merlin?"…

"Merlin, why are you banging your head against the wall like that?"


	2. Chapter 2

"Gaius, I need your help!"

"With what, my liege?"

"_Mer_lin, the idiot, won't stop banging his head against the wall. Could you possibly come to my room and stop him?"

"Well that _is _strange. Very well, I'll be there in a short while"

"I shall see you in a bit then. Goodbye, Gaius"

"No, don't walk over there!"

"Urgh, what? Gaius, what _is _this that I've just stepped on?"

"It is faeces, sire"

"Huh?"

"Fancy word for poo,My Lord"…

"Why on earth would you need-"

"I'm working on a new remedy that requires dog faeces"

"What? Is it for me?"

"No Sire, it will be used by the Lady Morgana"

"Ah, very well, then. Carry on"

"Good bye Sire".

**That awkward moment when the prince steps in dog poo**


	3. Chapter 3

_I wasn't going to post this until tomorrow, but it's my birthday and I want to get away from my relatives. **ALSO**: this is set in late season 4, when Morgana takes over Camelot. _

"Agravaine, what are you doing?"

"I'm shining your shoes, my Lady."

"Isn't that supposed to be the servants' job?"

"Well, you see my Lady, I don't trust them, they look shifty. I've told you, I'm the only one in the entire Kingdom you can trust."

"What did you just say?"

"I don't trust the servants."

"No, after that"

"I said I'm the only one in the entire Kingdom -OW! Why did you just slap me?"

"You disgusting ingrate, I should have you beheaded!"

"What did I do?"

"Don't you know what a female ruler of Camelot is called?"…

"A Queen?"

"Yes, glad you were able to wrap your thick head around that. So if a _Queen _is ruling Camelot, what is Camelot, Agravaine?"…

"A Queendom, my Lady?"

"Exactly."

**That awkward moment when you're grammatically corrected by an evil she-witch**

_A/n By the way, it makes me REALLY happy when you review. Just saying ;D_


	4. Chapter 4

_Thanks for all the reviews/birthday wishes, you guys are awesome. __**ALSO**__: Contains minor spoilers for Goblin's Gold, season three, episode three. This is a sort of deleted scene from my other story, Dreams._

"Arthur, I need to talk to you about Merlin.

"Oh Gwen, what's he done _now_?"

"It's about what _you _did to _him_!"

"Me? I haven't done anything to the idiot!"

"What about yesterday, when you ran past him and made him drop all of the armour he had just spent an _hour _cleaning on to the dirty floor? You didn't even apologize!"

"Guinevere, Guinevere, Merlin doesn't _need _an apology to know I'm sorry. He could tell I felt bad about what I'd done."

"_How_?"

"He just does. Besides, it's _Mer_lin. If the dolt even still remembers, I doubt he could do anything about it without-_HEE-HAW_!"…

"Arthur, did you just _bray_?"...

"_HEE-HAW!"_

**That awkward moment when you bray in front of your girlfriend.**

_A/n just a little bit of Merlin revenge =) Please review, favourite, follow, alert, and all that jazz! **IMPORTANT: Just to clear up any confusion there may be, YES, Merlin did make Arthur bray as revenge. **_


	5. Chapter 5

_A/n this might not make sense if you haven't seen 4x06: A servant of two masters yet._

"Stupid Merlin, disappearing and leaving me with a doormat of a servant who likes it when I make him muck out the stables…"

"Is something wrong, Sire?"

"No, George. Well, sort of."

"Anything I can help with, Sire?"

"Only if you can stop being a bootlicker for one second and answer me honestly."

"I'll try my best, Sire."

"I'm positively bored. It's absolutely no fun at all telling someone to do chores if they _enjoy _them."

"I'm sorry, my Lord. It's just that polishing armor can be so _interesting_."

"I'll take your word for it. Hang on…I've got an idea! What's your least favourite thing to do?"

"Er…well, I don't like telling jokes, my Lord."

"Tell me a joke, George. And that's an _order_."

"Very well, Sire. One day there was this piece of brass…"

**That awkward moment when someone tells a joke about brass.**

_A/n Well, there you go. That's how I think the brass joke came around. By Arthur getting bored of giving chores to someone who likes them, and ordering George to tell him a joke because that's George's least favorite thing to do._


	6. Chapter 6

_A/n: Have fun. Oh, and i added an extra special word in here for __**whitecrossgirl.**__Also, thanks to _**_Alligates_**_for the confidence :D And a special big extra thank you to all of you who alerted, favorited etc. _

Arthur, i need to speak with you."

"About what, father?"

"It's about something I saw happen earlier."

"Look father, i know princes don't bray, but i could hardly control-"

"What are you blathering on about? I'm talking about the fact that you were seen _in public _with that serving girl. You know that's not appropriate."

"Gwen? But she's _supermegafoxyawesomehot_! _And _I love her."

"You can't _possibly _love her."

"What am i supossed to love? A dung-eating troll?"...

"That was a _low _blow, Arthur Pendragon."

"I don't care, I'm going to go and see my supermegafoxyawesomehot girlfriend now. Have fun sitting here alone, Mr. Can't-get-a-date-without-her-trying-to-kill-you."

"Arthur, get back here this instant! Arthur! _Arthur!_"

**That awkward moment when everyone finds out about that one time you dated a troll.**

_A/n I __**was **__going to originally have Arthur apologize, but that's no fun., is it? Hope you liked :D_


	7. Chapter 7

_A/n 5 reviews! You guys are A-MAAAAAAZING. Please continue being epic and reviewing!_

"Gaius, i need to talk to you about Morgana!"

"Yes Sire, what is it?"

"She has a headache. I want you to do _whatever it takes _to fix it."

"_What ever it takes?_ Isn't that just code for 'you can use magic'?"

"Well, yes, I suppose it is."

"And what about the other day Sire, when that little boy in the lower town was _dying_? Were you prepared to do 'what ever it takes' then?"

"Of course not, don't be silly. He was a _commoner._"

"Oh, so it's only okay to do 'what ever it takes' when it's someone _you_ care about that's hurt?"

"Obviously."

"I see."...

"Gaius? Gaius, what are you doing with that broom? Gaius, put it-OW! _OWWWW!"_

"Out! Out, you pig-headed-

"OW!"

"Arrogant-

"OW!"

"Conceited-"

"OW!"

"PRAT!"

"Gaius! Stop...stop it! Gaius, open the door!"

"And if you _ever_ ask me to break the law again for you and only you, I'll see to it that Merlin has some help cleaning the leech tank!"

"OK OK, geez! I'm going!"

"And good riddance!"

**That awkward moment when you ask someone to break the law for you and they say no-and then spank you with a broom.**

_A/n Okay, i'm aware that 'the awkward moment' above isn't very funny, but these were my thoughts and feelings towards Uther during the episode when he asked Gaius to use magic to heal Morgana._**  
**


	8. Chapter 8

_A/n: this idea came from __**Alligates, **__who is an amazing idea-ist :D_

"Merlin, help me!"

"With what, Gwaine?"

"It's the fan girls…they're _everywhere_."

"And…?"

"Oh please, Merlin. We _all _know you have magic. You have to help me!"

"Wait. How do you know?"

"Last time you did magic, you only remembered to knock Arthur out. The rest of us still watched you. If you can take care of that many beasts, _surely _there's something you can do about a bunch of teenage girls."

"Look, Gwaine. If I could help you I would, but I can't really do anything that would risk revealing me."

"Merlin, this is serious. One of them _cut out a lock of my hair_."

"Oh. Oh Gwaine, I'm so sorry."

"It's fine. I'll…I'll be okay…NO I WON'T!"

"Don't cry, Gwaine. Okay, I'll fix this for you."

"YES! Now, what are you going to do about it, Mr Warlock?"

"Well, let me get my magic book first."…

"This is so cool! Hey Merlin, mate, do you think you could magic me a tankard of ale?"

"_Gwaine_."

"Sorry."

"Alright, I've found the spell, now we just have to wait a few hours for it to take place."

"What did you send them? Wildren? Griffins? A big old beasty from the old religion?"...

"How does a plague of plot bunnies sound to you?"

**That awkward moment when Gwaine cries over a lock of his hair.**

_A/n __**IMPORTANT**__: I'm changing the name of this. Is that okay with you guys? Suggestions would be nice!_


	9. Chapter 9

"Hey, Gwaine. So have you released the plotbunnies yet?"

"Oh yeah, rubbed it all over them, and they just sat down and started writing on anything they could find."

"Like what?"

"Well, let's just say you won't want to sleep in your room tonight. Not until Gaius cleans off the story of 'how Merlin and Arthur got married' off the walls."

"Ew, as if I would ever marry the prat. So have they written anything about you yet?"

"Yeah. Apparently, everyone thinks I'm a dare-devil drunk. Wherever did they get that idea? That's not me, is it Merlin?"

"Sure Gwaine, whatever floats your boat."…

"Hey, wouldn't it be cool to float in a boat in a river of ale? Hey Merlin, could you-"

"_Gwaine_."


	10. Chapter 10

.

"Agggh!"

"Merlin, will you stop that infernal racket?"

"Gaius, run for your life! We're doomed, all doomed!"

"Stop panicking, my boy. Now, whatever the problem is, I'm sure we can solve it. Is there another Afanc in the water supply?"

"NO!"

"Has the dragon started attacking the town again?"

"NO!"

"Is Arthur making you muck out the stables again?"…

"NO!"

"Then what is it?"

"MORGANA'S SMIRKING!"…

"Ah, I see. Very well, you may continue panicking."…

"We're doomed! All DOOMED!"

**That awkward moment when we're all doomed.**


	11. Chapter 11

_A/n Merlin and Arthur are besties. Perival and Elyan seem really close at the end of season four. Who's Gwaine got?_

"Leon, who's your best friend?"

"Why, Gwaine?"

"Everyone else has a best friend. Percival and Elyan, Arthur and Merlin. Who's yours?"

"Well Gwaine, I suppose mine would have to be you."

"Perfect! So, best friend, mind going somewhere with me?"

"Oh, God. I'm going to regret this, aren't I?"

"You betcha! To the tavern!"

**That awkward moment when Gwaine forgets that Merlin was the first friend he ever had.**

_A/n I thought it seemed a good idea, seeing as Gwaine used to dislike Arthur, and Leon was nothing but loyal to the prince. But seriously, the writers show Gwaine in season three, being this cool dare devil drunk who disliked Arthur, and they talk about 'courage, strength and magic' all being needed, when in season four they just use him to make the audience laugh, not for anything else, and Gwaine definitely didn't seem to mind. Okay, rant over. I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter :)_


	12. Chapter 12

_You guys are amazing, you know that? 50 reviews! Thanks to all of you J_

"Merlin, get your lazy backside out here! We're going on a hunting trip!"

"Arthur, we talked about this, remember? I quit last week"

"So what? You've quit forty three times during all your time as my manservant."

"This time it's different, I'm not coming back."

"But I need you!"

"Why? You need someone to make you look good in front of your knights?"

"No stupid, you're a good luck charm."

"Huh?"

"Well, haven't you ever noticed how we _never _lose a fight with bandits when you're there? I mean there's always some branch that falls off a tree or whatever."...

"And you call me the idiot…"

"Look, I'm sorry for telling the entire court that you fell asleep whilst mucking out the stables."

"You also told them I fell in horse dung!"

"Well, I'm sorry for that too. _Now _will you come?"

"So, you want me to leave my nice warm room to come outside with you to go hunting, which I _hate, _simply because you said sorry?"...

"Yes."

"Okay."

**That awkward moment when everyone finds out you're the dude who fell asleep in horse poo.**

_A/n Can you honestly believe that Merlin hasn't quit once in all the time he's been Arthur's servant? I don't :P Plus, it annoys me how even Gaius stood up to Uther (in the witchfinder eppy), and Merlin hasn't stood up to Arthur. I want a fight! Hope you guys liked :D _


	13. Chapter 13

_A/n In a land of technology, and a time of keyboards, one fangirl had to power to…be fangirly xD_

_**INFORMATION**: This is set directly after the last one._ ALSO: It will probably make a lot more sense when you watch this: _Youtube(dut)com(slash)watch?v=GokIzGSK2Fo_

"In a land of myth, and a time of magic, one man had the power to…be powerful."

"Merlin, what on earth are you blathering on about?"

"Nothing, Sire."

"As usual, then. Fetch me my sword, will you?"

"But it's three feet away from you!"

"So? I'm the prince of Camelot, do I look like I have the time to walk three feet?"

"Prat."

"Yeah, like you haven't said _that _a thousand times. Now come on, let's get going. OW! Where did that branch come from? I could've sworn it wasn't been there a moment ago…"

"I don't know, Sire. I don't know…"

**That awkward moment when merlinandfreyaFTW is losing the plot…the mental kind, not the story kind.**

_A/n right, as you can guess, it was very late at night (read: early in the morning) when I wrote this._

**_EXPLANATION!: Yes, Merlin does use magic to trip Arthur up at the end xD hope you enjoyed :)_**


	14. Chapter 14

_A/n just a little piece of randomeness..._

_REPLY TO ATLIS: Thanks so much for the review, I'm glad you like 'em!_

"Arthur, what's that?"

"It's a book. Can you say that Merlin? Booook"

"Isn't that book a bit thick?"

"Like you, you mean?"

"Haha. I hope you noted the sarcasm in that."

"Sarcasm duly noted."

"Arthur, can you even read?"

"Pffft, I'm the crown Prince of Camelot; of course I can read! Watch me"…

"Merlin, what did you do to this book? It makes no sense at all!"…

"Maybe that's because it's upside down, Arthur. I think you should give that to me. I'll read it to you."

"Okay, fine. Just remember to do the voices!"

"Yeah, yeah. Let just start the story already, shall we?

"Go on then."

"'Once upon a time there was a little girl called Goldilocks…'".

**That awkward moment when Goldilocks gets jealous because Arthur is more famous than she is.**

_A/n hope you enjoyed :D _**  
**


	15. Chapter 15

"Merlin, come here!"

"What for now?"

"I need you to tell me another story"

"_Again_? Arthur, I'm getting seriously sick of that, and frankly I'm getting pretty sick of Snow White and the seven dwarves as well!"

"You take that back! It's great, especially Prince Charming. I mean, he's got _great _hair; he's a young hero that can defeat any monster that comes his way, but not a lot of people understand him, not even his father. He's dashing and heroic but with a slightly sensitive side-"

"You see what I mean?"

"Merlin, I don't use this word a lot…but _please_?"

"You really want a story?"

"Yes!"

"Any one at all?"

"Any!"

"Fine. Once upon a time there was a prat that was a prince. He met a warlock, handsome and brave…"

**That Awkward Moment when Arthur's idol is Prince charming.**

_A/n Strange, I know, but a lot of you seemed to love the last one so much I couldn't resist xD_


	16. Chapter 16

_A/n Sorry guys, this is pretty much all I can think of._

_REPLIES: atlis: Haha, i'm glad it made her and you laugh. Thanks for leaving the reviews, they always cheer me up!_

"And so the brave handsome warlock once again saved the arrogant Prince's royal behind, seeking no reward in return…and _then _he was told to go and shine some bootlaces! The nerve of that supercilious, arrogant, pompous prince made the warlock want to-"

"_Merlin_! What are you doing up here? You've been gone for three hours!"

"Nothing Gaius, just telling the prince about all of the times I've saved his life!"

"_What_? Have you gone mad?"

"No Gaius. Look, the prince is asleep. I figured this was the perfect time to vent all of my frustrations to him without him ever finding out."

"Why on earth would you do such a thing?"

"Well, you see, it started with a bedtime story about-"

"Never mind, I don't think I want to know. Come down _now_, unless you want to go to bed hungry."

"Fine. Good night, prince Prat, I'll be back in the morning."

**-****...-**

"Rise and shine!"

"Arthur, get up!"

"Arthur, you have a court meeting with your father!"

"ARTHUR I BROUGHT YOU PICKLED EGGS FOR BREAKFAST!"

"Pickled eggs! Where?"

"Ah, I seem to have dropped them, Sire. Never mind, you can have an apple instead."

"Oh, that's a shame. Pickled eggs would have probably have cheered me up after that horrible nightmare I had yesterday."

"Nightmare? About what?"

"Oh you know. Just something about a certain _young warlock _releasing a dragon. Thing is though, it was in _excruciating_ detail. Almost as if someone was telling me. Perhaps I ought to ask my _father _what he thinks."…

"Pickled eggs coming up right away, Sire."

**That awkward moment when Arthur hold Merlin's secret for ransom so that he can have his favorite food.**

_A/n He once said in an episode that his favorite food was pickled eggs...so this happened._


	17. Chapter 17

_A/n *jaw drops to the end of the earth* TEN reviews?! I love you guys! As a thank you, I tried to make this one long. Please enjoy :D _

_Replies to anons: Atlis: Thanks so much, for the great idea and the review. I'm definitely going to use that :D_

"Merlin, have you got me those pickled eggs yet?"

"Arthur, that's the fifth time you've asked in two minutes!"

"Does it matter? I mean, not unless you want my father to hear about…"

"Fine. Prat."

"And you had better stop calling me that as well, unless you want my _father _to-" (_A/n Umm, am i the only thinking Arty boy's starting to sound a _lot _like Draco Malfoy?)_

_"_Fine. _Sire. _I'm going now. Remember not to stop breathing without me to help you."

"I think I can manage. Now get out!"

"On second thought, go ahead."

"_Out!"_

**-…-**

"Morning, Merlin. Why do you look so grumpy? And why are you carrying a jar of pickled eggs?"

"The stupid prat's found out a secret of mine, Gwen, and he's _blackmailing _me!"

"Oh, you mean that whole magic thing? Don't worry Merlin, Arthur told me he wouldn't tell a soul."

"_What?"_

_"_Yes, in fact he told me that he would _never _turn in his best friend…Merlin, where are you going?"

"To FIND THAT PRAT!"

**-…-**

"Ah, there you are Merlin. Did you-what the-"

"There you go dollop head! Pickled eggs!"

"I can_not _believe that you just dumped a jar of pickled eggs on the crown prince of Camelot!"

"Well, believe it! Now what are you going to do about it?"

"Hmm, how does the word 'fired' sound?

"It sounds completely unnecessary, Sire, seeing as I QUIT!"

"Merlin!"…

"MERlin, get back here and clean up this mess!"…

"_Merlin!"…_

_"_Well, that's just _great. _Now my manservant has quit forty-_four _times!"

**That awkward moment when someone dumps a jar of pickled eggs on the crown prince of Camelot.**

****_A/n Dun dun DUN! How's Arthur going to get his manservant back?! Will Uther find out? Is Arthur _ever _going to get his pickled eggs (not thrown on him)? _


	18. Chapter 18

_A/n Thanks so much for the lovely reviews. I LOVE you guys, in a completely bromantic way…except im a girl. Ah-hem. Ok, so this particular fic is about how I have a theory that the writers purposely make the show as slashy as possible to draw in the Merthur fans. This is how I think it would go if Merlin quit, with him at the tavern with his friends comforting him over his 'break up'. This is also a continuation from the last chapter. STILL NOT SLASH (well, it's only as slashy as the show). _

_REPLIES TO ANONS: Atlis: Dude, we're twins! I was thinking about Naruto when I wrote that line :D Not sure if this fic's historically accurate, but then again, neither is the show xD Thanks!_

_-…-_

"I-I just can't believe he'd do that, you know? I mean, who does that, right Elyan?"

"Mm-hmm."

"He just…lied to me, _blackmailed _me, without even saying sorry. You know what I think it is? It's that servant, _George_. Arthur thinks he's better than me. I'll show him. You just can't do something like that to a loyal servant; you know what I mean Percival?"

"Yup."

"Anyways, so _then _I threw pickled eggs on him. It's not like I could've done anything else. I just did what I had to do. What do you think, Gwaine?"

"I _think _that that's enough mead for one night, Merlin. And that's coming from _me._"

"No. N-n-no Gwaine, that's my tankard of mead. Gwaine, I _need _that mead. Gwaine, give it ba-"

"Get a hold of yourself, man!"

**That awkward moment when Gwaine criticizes someone for drinking too much.**

_The ending was too much, wasn't it?__Sorry, I couldn't resist xD_


	19. Chapter 19

_A/n this is what happens to Arthur the night that Merlin quits._

_REPLIES TO ANONS: Atlis: I have nooo idea whatsoever. Hey, maybe I can use that idea in a couple of chapters…(did I just end a reply on a cliffhanger?)_

_Guest: Thank you, very glad you liked it :D_

"So _stupid_…why didn't I see it before?...Can't believe…"

"Hello, father. Are you muttering about anything in particular?"

"Yes Arthur, it's _you_."

"Me? What have I done?"

"There was a guard who said he had seen some magic the other day. And then it crossed my mind that there was only one man who it could have been. A man who goes into battle and leaves unscathed. A man who has a rather unusual bit of good luck. A man who kills beasts of the old religion that can only be killed with _magic_."

"Look father, I can explain. My manservant was born wi-"

"What's he got to do with anything?"

"Well what were you talking about then?"

"Arthur, I was talking about the fact that you have _magic_."

**That awkward moment when Uther's got it right…sort of.**

_A/n first pickled eggs, and now this. I can't give Arty a break, can I? Next update soon!_


	20. Chapter 20

REPLIES TO ANONS. Atlis: Hehe, your review made me giggle. Thanks :3 To be completely honest, I think the troll thing was what sent Uther spiralling into madness, not Morgana. Delayed shock, I think XD

Recap: "Look father, I can explain. My manservant was born wi-"

"What's he got to do with anything?"

"Well what were you talking about then?"

"Arthur, I was talking about the fact that you have _magic_."

**-...-**

"I can explain about that too."

"Explain what, Arthur? You have-OW!"

"Guinevere…did you just-"

"Yes Arthur, I did just knock the King of Camelot unconscious with a saucepan."

"But…why?"

"So that no one find out about Merlin, of course. Now, are you going to help me move this body or not?"

**-…-**

"Arthur, how is he?"

"Gaius says he'll have a concussion when he wakes up, but nothing more. So uh…you were pretty handy with that saucepan back there."

"Yup."

"Hey Guinevere?"

"Yes?"

"Did I forget to mention that you're the coolest girlfriend _ever_?"

"I know, Arthur. I know."

**That awesome moment when Gwen's the coolest girlfriend ever and she knows it.**


	21. Chapter 21

"Hello, _Mer_lin."

"Hello, _Ar_thur."

"So..what have you been up to?"

"Arthur, we're enemies now. You can't just ask me what I'm up to!"

"Yeah well, I didn't really care anyway. You've probably been lazing about while my _new _servant George's been busy cleaning up after me."

"Oh, so you have a new servant now?"

"Yep, and he's ten times better than my old one. He gets me my breakfast on time, cleans my room, and mucks out the stables without complaining!"

"Really? Poor guy! Maybe I should recommend him to serve my new master. I'm sure he'll be happy to take on a second manservant."

"You have a new master?"

"Yup. One that never shouts, never orders me around, and treats me like his best friend."

"Really? Who is this new master?"

"Would you like me to call him, _Sire?"_

"Go ahead."

"Oh Gwaine…"

**That awkward moment when Arthur's so jealous he's turned green.**

_A/n I…I've fallen into writer's block! I'm sorry, I know this isn't very funny, but I did try my best. Hopefully this will add to the plot._


End file.
